I am a true believer in beginning with your family tree to start your journey to learn about yourself. Whether you are an individual, couple or family, I feel that it is important to look at where you come from. There is so much information there to help you see how you became you. Each person's journey thru their family tree helps to show where you developed your core beliefs and values. How does that help a couple in crisis you might wonder? We each come into the marriage with some of those beliefs and values that aren't available for change. So many times, why your spouse might feel a particular way and where that belief came from, and knowing that, can be extremely valuable. In relationships, statistically 69% of the relational problems are unsolvable. Just as 31% are solvable problems. The good news is that you don't have to solve all your problems to have a satisfying relationship. In fact, many people are under the misconception that if they end their relationship and get into another relationship, this will change. Ultimate happiness will be found! They actually just change one set of unsolvable problems for another. It's much more successful if you can learn how to identify these and learn how to solve the problems that you can solve. And getting a divorce just seems easier. The evidence about the harmful effects of divorce on everyone involved is many times overlooked. I can help here.
I also use attachment theory as we work with the family structure. It can be helpful to learn this about yourself and your partner. With couples I utilize much of the work of John and Julie Gottman. They have researched couples for over 30 years and learned why successful marriages are successful. They have identified patterns in relationships that are consistent with divorce. They call them "The 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse". Knowing how to identify these in a couple can give me the information I need to teach couples the tools they need for improving and building their relationship.
My goal is to create a safe, affirming place for you and/or your partner to feel heard and understood and to find the tools you need to move forward. I am passionate about helping couples enhance their connection, repair broken relationships, and improve their communication. I am constantly amazed at the resiliency of the human spirit and I consider it a privilege to walk with others on their journey. Together we will develop strategies to empower you to utilize your strengths to live by choice, not by chance.